


we were like gods

by commanderastra



Category: The 100 (TV), The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Clexa, Commander Lexa, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Protective Lexa, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-19 19:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16541078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderastra/pseuds/commanderastra
Summary: lexa x youyou are a exiled princess from pylos after murdering a guard. sentenced to be alexandria, the current princess and second commander of athens, not to mention half mortal- half godesses’, slave, you begin to regret your decision. how could someone be so arrogant, self-absorbed, and attractive all at the same time? you begin to fall in love with her, and face many challenges along the way.enemies to lovers au.*inspired by the song of achilles.





	1. background

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome to my story! i am writing this due to my everlasting love of tsoa, and lexa. this book is heavily inspired by achilles and patroclus. beside that, i did as much research as i could to make this story as accurate as possible. i did have to fix minor- and some major details to fit the plot of the story. thanks for reading!

the year is 410 b.c. taking place in athens, greece, a 17 year old girl is exiled from her city under the account of murder. here, she is sentenced to be alexandria, the princess' slave. she is ordered to follow any command the princess gives her. 

lexa, the princess of athens, is to put it simply, a spoiled brat. she is selfish and manipulative, evil and cunning. the girl instantly hates her. 

although, despite her flaws, lexa is a demigod. half mortal, half goddess. born from her mother athena, goddess of war, and king of athens, cimon, she is to be kept a secret from the gods, as athena was admired for her virginity. lexa was trained since birth to be a warrior, a great one in fact. she was prophesied to be the best warrior of her time, and many centuries after that. she will remain a legacy until the end of time. 

you, just might be as well.


	2. ένας

"father, you mustn't send me away, i apologize, i am sorry, hear my words, please!" 

this, this exact moment has played in your head over and over like the tune of a lyre player, fingers bleeding red and hands aching. it had been an hour, and in that hour you had done things that, not once- not even in your nightmares you have dreamt of doing. you had killed a man, not an innocent man, but a man at that. a guard, to be more specific. one of the greatest crimes someone could commit besides killing the king. it was treason. you had disobeyed the law of your own people.

your mother's hysterical weeping echoed throughout the walls of the throne room. you had to resist the temptation to roll your eyes- you had love for your mother, yes, but she was weak; pathetic. she refused to voice herself, her opinions, her thoughts, worries, and whatever else. she bowed down to her husband, never denying him of anything. he was, in fact a king, and yes, this maybe is how kings are treated, but that does not mean it is right. 

your mother would not save you, certainly not with her pathetic crying. 

"quiet, dear. we do not need your weeping. our daughter, y/n, is a traitor of our lands, our kingdom, of us. you shall be banished from pylos, and sent away to athens where your title will be stripped and you will be nothing but a slave to princess alexandria."

softly, tears fell one by one down your cheeks, never once had you thought this is what would become of your life. you were devastated, enraged, and vengeful all at once. a whirlpool of emotions cascaded through you, so much that they filled your mind and the throne room had been silent for a minute now.

the guard to your left tugged on your arm, so much you thought it would be dislocated. you glared up at the guard, full of anger.

"you saw what i had done to the last one, do not think i will hesitate to do it you," you spoke, each word you spit with venom. before you knew it, the guard had slapped you clear across your face. the sting came seconds after the shock, and your hand flew up to your cheek. you turned to look at your father, only to see a smug look sat upon his face. your mother cried harder, begging the king to stop harming her baby.

"babies do not kill, my love. this is not our child, this is a murderer, one who should be grateful we are banishing her instead of cutting off her head."

"grateful? grateful-" you paused to laugh, manically, before continuing, "you have no knowledge of my reasoning on why i killed that guard. you cannot, and will not tell me to be grateful, i don't care who or what you are, i hope i see you burning in the pits of the underworld one day," you spoke out, spitting on the floor. the guard instantly grabbed your arm and pulled you close to him, he gripped it so hard you could feel his dirty fingernails piercing your soft skin. you hissed in pain, before turning to look at your father.

he looked at you with fury clearly present in his eyes. hatred, that's all you saw. and you expected nothing more, your father had never liked you. you never pleased him. 

"take her away!" he shouted out, and the last thing you heard was your mothers screaming.

-

you awoke to a horrible aching pain in your neck, you groaned out, rubbing it gently. you had slept uncomfortably in the chariot, a guard next to you. there was two others, one behind and in front of you, equaling four guards with you. they figured that should be enough, to handle, and restrain you, but you weren't so sure.

you figured you could escape- but where would you have gone? no one would've taken you in, afraid of your father's wrath. your father was not the most popular king, but he was a king at that and would show no mercy to you or the ones helping you.

besides, you were starving. you had not eaten since the day before, and it was almost nightfall.

your arm was held tightly by the guard sitting next to you, shouting commands at the other guards in the chariot behind you. looking around, you saw you were at the gates of cimon- king of athens-'s castle. you were on a bridge built on top of a moat. the sound of horses feet against the stone ceased.

looking out beyond the hill, you saw the ocean. dark and hauntingly beautiful in its own glory, you wished you could stick your feet in the soft white sands or feel the cold water between your toes.

your daydreaming was interrupted as the guard in front of you talked with the guards at the gate, and suddenly a loud creaking noise blared from the gate scraping against the stone floors.

the insistent noise of horses feet began again, making you sigh, annoyed. you looked straight ahead of you, at the guards looking at you with their blank faces.

what had you done?

-

"ah, y/n, i see you have arrived," the king, cimon, greeted you from his chair, taking a sip of wine. his wife, lsodice, sat at his side. she looked at you with weary eyes, before forcing a smile when your e/c met her light brown ones.

the queen on the throne was not alexandria's mother though, or maybe it might have been. rumor had it that alexandria was a goddess, born from athena's womb. athena was embarrassed by losing her virginity, to a mortal at that, therefore it is kept a secret from the other gods. but, athena makes her visits to her daughter when need be, and loves her without a doubt. 

the guards that stood by your side were dismissed, with a wave of cimon's hand, and two slaves came to take them all to their rooms.

after watching the men walk out, cimon directed his attention towards you. you eyes hadn't left him the entire time, unsure of what's to come next.

"so y/n, you are banished from your homeland, stripped of your title, your claim to your throne, and all under account of murder of a guard," cimon said, studying you. he took another sip of wine as he awaited your answer.

you nodded, holding your head high.

"yes, my lord."

"yes, i see you do not regret it. all i must know, is why? have you gone mad? certainly not, if you're able to admit the fact that you have done it. why kill a guard? take an innocents life?"

"he was no innocent. my lord," recounting what had happened with the guard made a lump form in your throat. you debated not telling the king of athens why you had done it, but he provided an odd sense of comfort, one you had never felt with your own father.

the king raised a brow, the queen sat uninterested.

"he tried to defile me, sir. it was self-defense."

pity, you saw flash through his stone eyes. no, maybe understanding. you did not know which one it was, but it made you feel safer than you had when your own father interrogated you.

"and this, did you explain to your father?" he asked, it was a simple question, no cruelness behind it.

you shook your head, biting your lip.

"no, my lord. my father would not have believed me, i would have been killed for lying to the king."

he held his head up, nodding, before drinking the last of his wine.

he signaled the slave in the room to refill his cup. you wondered how kings thought properly when their minds were clouded by the effects of wine.

"well, y/n. i do not wish you harm. i understand- i know what it is like to have a daughter, and the thought of those things happening to her, well, i expect she would have done the same," he chuckled slightly, eyes brightening with the mention of his daughter. you wondered what that was like, to have a father that loved you endlessly. 

you nodded, not necessarily knowing what to say.

"unfortunately, i will have to take your jewelry away, and your peplos. you will be given a chiton to wear, and you will not be doing work in the kitchen or the fields or anywhere else, but you will be handmaiden to my daughter, alexandria."

as if it was planned, she walked through the double doors in all her glory. you could see why people whispered about her. why men from all over the world wanted to marry, why girls envied. you did not envy alexandria, like many. you had your own beauty, rare. long, h/c loose curly hair and a body many wished to have. you were tan from your time in the sun, and had beautiful e/c eyes, you were mesmerizing. but alexandria was that and more, and although you did not envy her, you envied her life. 

she walked in, her purple peplos was short, uncommon for royals, and she had sandals that laced their way up to her knees. you looked at her attire in confusion, no makeup, no jewelry. her hair was half down and half done in intricate braids, it flowed down her back. then, you remembered. she was athena's child, destined to be a warrior. she was trained in warfare, of course her outfits were short and she had no jewelry. you cleared your throat.

she looked over at you, stunned for a second. shock was present in her eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came. she looked you up and down, as if you were lesser than her. you would have been offended if you were not so entranced by her wonderful green eyes. it was like staring into two emeralds, clear as day, deep as the sea. they were outlined with a darker green, like pine needles. your breath caught in your throat.

she broke the gaze by looking at her father.

"father, who might this be?" her voice was soft, but strong. it was sweet and you would've thought she was innocent if you had not met her before. 

he laughed, looking over at you.

"i am shocked you do not remember your old companion, alexandria. this is y/n. don't you remember?"

she looked back at you for a second, mind seemingly working to remember you.

you and lexa had met as children, only twice or three times for royal gatherings.

"yes, daughter of nestor, king of pylos."

cimon nodded, looking back at you.

"y/n is sentenced to be your handmaiden, alexandria. i know you have been weary with others and figured y/n would be a perfect companion for you."

she looked at you wearily, before smirking.

"yes father, i agree."

the king nodded in approval.

"alexandria, show y/n to her room, raven, go to the front where y/n things are left and show them to her room."

raven, a slave, nodded. you glanced at her for a second, she was quite pretty and she had smiled at you when you had come in. maybe she would be a friend.

-

lexa had been showing you around the castle. from what you've learned, she was conceited, cocky, and simply arrogant. you had hated her since you were a child, she had always been this way. although, you found it strange to hear the name alexandria. she had always told you to call her lexa as a child, you wondered if that still stood.

"so y/n, why are you banished from your homeland? i couldn't imagine, being stripped of my title, all my worth. but i suppose that has nothing on me since i am a warrior."

"prophesied warrior," you corrected, already fed up with her rude comments.

you both were in the garden now, out in the fields. the ocean was on the other side of the castle, and you wondered if you could manipulate her into bringing you to the beach. although, it was now dusk, and the sun was falling into the sea. there would be nothing to see but stars. 

lexa stopped in her tracks, looking at you with both curiosity and rage.

you supposed no one had never spoke to lexa that way, not ever in her life.

"yes, prophesied, but when are the gods ever wrong?"

"many times. the gods are always wrong."

"do you dare disrespect the gods?" she narrowed her eyes. this was a test. her mother was a goddess.

you took one last glance at her face, before walking in front of her, looking at the flowers in the garden. you found it hard to look away.

"no, certainly not. i just meant that the gods cannot always be right."

"so, you disrespect me then?" lexa questioned. although, it sounded more like a statement.

you turned around, facing her once more. you could not decipher what she was feeling, her face was blank. knowing it would be smarter to shut up before she told her father, you gave a small smile. she could tell it was forced.

"no, of course not. could you show me to my room?"

lexa nodded, and led you back inside the castle.

-

you made your way up the stairs, legs starting to feel like jam. there was so many stairs in this goddamn castle, you were beginning to grow tired.

"your room is across the hall from mine. we are the only ones in this section." 

it was the top of the castle, on the right side at least. she watched you as you opened the door to the room, and you were happy to see it overlooked the ocean. you looked around. it was a large room, certainly not as big as your old one, but large enough, and had a big bed with yellow sheets. candles surrounded the bed, and the rest of the room. you saw that your bag made of lambskin sat delicately on the bed. you ran to the window and watched the ocean.

"i understand that you like the sea." 

you had almost forgotten lexa was there. 

you nodded.

"yes." 

lexa made a mental note of that. you were like a riddle, a game, and lexa had always loved games. she wanted to figure you out. no one had disrespected her, talked to her the way you do. it intrigued her, and infuriated her all at once. 

"right. well handmaiden, it's time for dinner."

that is all she said, before leaving you alone.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes at the title. well, it was hardly a title at that. handmaiden, you thought, you might as well have been a slave. 

walking through the seemingly endless hallways of the palace, you admired the paintings on the wall. the hallways in this section were empty, you learned lexa must've enjoyed her solitude. 

eventually, you made it to the main floors of the palace. you were now in the dining room, confused as to where you should go. with the slaves, maybe?

the king was there, along with the queen and the guests of royal blood. lexa was there too, ignoring your presence.

"ah, y/n, you will be eating with the slaves," king cimon said, smiling at you from across the room.

you nodded, and made your way to turn around when a voice suddenly stopped you.

"actually, father, i want y/n to eat here, with us tonight. so she is familiar with us."

the king looked at his daughter, before looking back over at you and nodding.

"so be it. y/n, please have a seat."

you nodded, and took a seat across from lexa. she smirked at you, an evil glint in her green eyes. tonight they were electric.

what was she up to?

as people took their seats and the servants set the food on the table, you took a look around you. there was breads, cheese, lamb, fruit, and more. your stomach growled at the thought of food, and you had just realized how hungry you had been,

"so y/n, tell me why you are here," lexa smiled, evil glint still present in her eyes. people were now staring at you with interest, waiting for your reply.

"i-, well i have been exiled from my homeland."

lexa nodded, taking a bite of a fig. the juices spilled over her already red lips, giving them a slight purple color. you swallowed, it did not matter how beautiful the princess was. she was playing a game with you and you did not like it. she licked her lips, taking another bite.

"yes, i am aware, but i am curious as to why. you are seventeen, a princess. what could you have done that your father couldn't cover up?"

"alexandria-" the queen started, looking at you with pity. 

lexa glared at her stepmother. she was quiet from then on.

the king was on the other side of the table, surrounding himself with more important conversations. it was only the people sitting on the end of the table that were looking at you.

"i killed a man. a guard," you said simply, face bare.

gasps went around the end of the table, and suddenly whispers were going around.

you poured yourself some wine into a goblet, taking a sip and looking at lexa's face for a reaction. you didn't care for the other's opinions.

she was surprised. that was clear. her face held obvious shock, she was not expecting you to admit it, much less admit to that.

she cleared her throat, throwing her fig on a plate. 

"and why did your father not protect you?"

you set your wine down. although the question sounded like it was pure curiosity, she was challenging you. you did not like it.

before you could answer, the queen spoke up.

"alexandria, maybe you should not have your handmaiden here with us for dinner. she is a handmaiden after all. here, y/n, you may eat in your chambers-"

"no, i want her here. i asked her a question, and i am awaiting the reply," she said, a sickly smile sat upon her lips.

and well, who was the queen to deny lexa? she was a goddess. a warrior. she was nothing human, something extraordinary. lsodice was merely a queen, she couldn't deny lexa. hell, the king barely could.

"my father was a careless man. he did not care for my presence, i did not fit his standards. i disappointed him, many times. gods, he probably wanted me to be sent away. this was the perfect opportunity, killing his daughter would be unjust and not win over the favor of the people."

the words came out naturally, and you did not regret saying them. not even when lexa's face held pity, and you hated pity. you did not need her to feel bad for you. besides, what you said was true.

"well, that is unfortunate," lexa sighed, "lsodice, would you pass the bread?"

you ate the rest of your dinner in silence.

-

when you arrived back in your chambers, the candles had melted and it was abnormally cold. you supposed it was the window; the open square cut into the stone walls. you shivered, and as if on cue, a slave walks in. she is the one from earlier, raven.

"oh miss, you must be freezing in here!" she laughs and shivers. she carries three lamps with her, and sets them up along the room. she carries a glass bottle, full of oil, for the lamps.

you watch her, and thank her.

"there is no need to call me miss, raven. we are equal."

raven laughs, setting the oil on your nightstand. your eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

she turns to look at you, and shakes her head.

"no, my lady, you are a princess. we will never be equal."

"exiled princess," you correct her. raven smiles.

"yes, but still a princess at that. you have royal blood in you, you always will."

you nod, slightly hurt.

"i will do my best to treat you as though we are the same. after all, that's all we are. flesh and blood."

raven gives you a bright smile, and nods.

"thank you, my lady."

"please," you start, rubbing your arms, "call me y/n."

"y/n," she says, nodding. making her way out of the room.

"wait!" you say, looking at her.

she turns back to look at you, raising an eyebrow.

"will i see you again?" you ask, hoping you had made a new friend.

she nods, "i think it would be hard to not."

you smile as she leaves the room, and you go to close the door behind her. you see lexa, her door is open, lighting the dim hallway. she is dressed in a black nightgown, long and open. you saw that her hair is down, the braids undone, leaving her hair frizzy and wavy. she looks like a goddess, like this, you think. she begins to turn around and you shut your door quickly.

your heart is racing. such an evil girl, she was too pretty and corruptive and mean. cunning, that would describe her. you began to wonder if her mother was actually aphrodite, that would explain her beauty and manipulative tendencies. 

you sighed, walking across the cold floors, and made your way to your bed, you were too tired to change. you laid under the warm wool covers and closed your eyes.

that night you fell asleep to the idea of the guard, face pale and body limp.

-

it was morning now, you could hear the birds chirping outside your window. it was no longer cold, hot in fact, as it was august and only the nights were chilly. you groaned out as loud knocking came from your door. 

you rubbed your eyes, sure that you looked like a mess. walking across the room, you opened the door to find lexa standing on the other side.

"yes, lexa?" you asked, not even noticing that you had called her by her nickname.

she sucked in a breath before her eyebrows furrowed. she had not been called that since she was a child. she was stunned for a second before regaining the composure she had lost.

"you will train with me today."

"i will what?" you asked, confused. handmaidens did not train. they washed clothes and bathed their masters and kissed their feet. they did not train.

"you said you killed a man, a guard?" lexa questioned.

you nodded wearily.

"good, you know what it is like to kill. and you must be somewhat strong or good with swords, if you could take down a guard."

"yes, but why will i train with you?"

lexa sighed, either in annoyance or frustration. maybe both.

"the other girls and boys- they are not strong like me. it is too easy. i need to be trained, with someone who can put up a fair fight."

you nodded, seeming to understand.

"i have only killed one man," you said, looking lexa in the eyes.

she nods, a small smile on her face.

"that is a start."

that is all she says before she walks back into her room, telling you to get dressed and to "fix your hair." she also says she will need help dressing.

she shuts the door behind her. 

you stand there a moment, confused, before running a hand through your thick hair and sighing. you shut your door as well.

you dress in a simple white chiton, with some plain sandals. grabbing a mirror, you look at your reflection. lexa was right, your hair was a mess. you groaned loudly, grabbing a comb and some olive oil, and pouring it all over your hair. you combed through the messy curls, and let go, feeling your hair hit your back. you sighed, licking your lips. you put some olive oil on those as well. spraying yourself with a flowery perfume, you walked out of your room and knocked on lexa's door. you craved a bath.

she opened it, dressed in a blue chiton this time. she nodded at you. her room smelled of crocus and orchids, it was a lovely smell. you realized that lexa had smelled like this too, sweet, like wild flowers.

"what do you need me to do?"

she sat in front of a vanity. she handed you a brush and bottle of oils. pouring it on your hands, you realized it smelled lovely, and you felt plain with olive oil sitting in your hair.

you rubbed the oils into her long, brown hair and brushed it out. her hair was soft, very soft. you reminded yourself not to be envious. do not be envious, this is lexa, spoiled greedy, selfish-

"i want you to put braids in my hair."

you looked at her and nodded. you remembered what her hair looked like yesterday, and began twisting her hair between your fingers. she watched you through her large mirror and you started to feel insecure. 

once you were done, she stood and rubbed a balm over her lips. she was taller than you, by a couple inches. it intimidated you slightly, and you hated that.

"you will eat breakfast with the other handmaidens today, lsodice is throwing a fit over last nights dinner," she rolled her eyes. you watched her curiously.

"i will make sure you are fed well for training," she nodded, and glanced behind you, "after, i will have you clean my room. wash the linens, scrub the floors."

you wondered if she liked this, making you do something just because she could. you figured you would if the roles were reversed.

"yes, lexa."

she glanced at you, but never corrected the nickname.


	3. δύο

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lexa is a spoiled brat. you are a stubborn one. lexa kicks your ass and raven teases you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is full of angst. lots of it. don't worry, you and lexa will have many intimate moments coming up ;)

the sound of your sandals hitting the cold, stone floors was the only thing keeping you grounded. you could not stop thinking about the princess. her hair, the softness and the smell. her full cherry red lips that reminded you of rubies, or her emerald eyes that made you long for the sea, or- what was wrong with you? only a day before had you been cursing every inch of her being- and now here you were acting like a lovestruck girl.

it was not normal, you thought. she was a woman. and even beside that, she was lexa. evil brooding, unkind lexa.

you moped around the palace, eventually finding your way to the dining room for slaves and servants. looking around, you saw many unfamiliar faces. many had dirt coating them, their hands and their faces, and their chitons were yellow and thin and seemed scratchy. they looked at you with curiosity, some envy, and others rage. you did not expect anything more or less. you were a princess, well an exiled one, but even at that you were still a princess, like raven had said the day before. you would never be equal to them, not in their eyes. you sighed, suddenly remembering the kind slave. where was she?

some of the servants talked normally, and others in hushed whispers about you.

"i heard she killed a man!"

"she is certainly not a lady."

"she is in exile. i heard the king saying her father used to beat her, and during royal meetings as a child she would be painted black and blue."

"she's very pretty, i wonder if we should cut her hair and make it our own."

the last comment made you look over at the girls in disgust. once they noticed you were staring, they swallowed quickly and rushed out of the room.

you rolled your eyes. suddenly, your stomach was growling. you held a hand on your stomach, silently groaning. the food on the table did not look very appealing, there was only stale grey bread and some pieces of cheese. there was only water in a silver serving cup. you wondered where lexa's promise of "good food" being served to you was.

you sighed, dropping your hands at your sides. that one thought lead to a million others, all surrounding the myth, the legend of alexandria woods of athens. you began to wonder if she was truly immortal. story has it her mother held her by one foot and dipped her in the river styx, the river separating the mortal world and the underworld. she then put lexa in a fire to burn away all of the human parts of her. you wondered if lexa had lost her humanity that day too.

you began to wonder why lexa had chosen you to train. surely, there were many older, stronger, better men and women to fight than you. a small, skinny, seventeen year old girl. maybe it was for lexa to mock you, to laugh at you for being weak. you should have never agreed to train with her and instead scrub floors.

your thoughts were interrupted.

"y/n," a rough voice called out, making you turn around. at the entrance stood a guard and raven, she gave a sheepish smile. she was holding a silver platter, filled with a few teganites (pancakes) and some fresh fruit.

 

"the princess has ordered you a special breakfast," the guard nodded at you, looked around the room as if telling the other servants to "dare and take the food" and left.

"ah," you thought. finally, the food had arrived.

you smiled at raven, happy to see a familiar face among all of the judgmental ones.

"hello, y/n," she greeted as she walked towards you, aiming to set the platter on the large table in the room.

you stopped her, putting your hand in front of her.

"actually, i was wondering if we could eat outside?" you asked, glancing behind you at the balcony that overlooked the garden and fields.

raven looked at you confused for a moment, most likely since you used the term 'we' and you suddenly felt anxious. would raven deny your friendship as well?

interrupting your anxiety-ridden thoughts, raven grinned and nodded.

"sure, princess."

-

you and raven sat on the stone railing of the balcony eating figs and apricots. the fig you ate reminded you of the juice that dripped down lexa's lips, and suddenly you had a bad taste in your mouth. you threw the half eaten fig off the balcony.

"hey, that was still good!" raven scolded.

you looked at her with panic, why must you screw everything up? of course that was disrespectful, raven was a servant for gods know how long, and had to eat the shit food they were giving her, and here you were, wasting perfectly good food-

your thoughts were interrupted with a loud cackle coming from raven. 

"what?" you asked, eyebrows furrowed. you had just offended her and now she was laughing?

"oh y/n, you think too much. i was only joking with you," raven teased, taking a bite of a ripe apricot.

"i apologize," you fumbled nervously with your chiton, it was thin and fitted you loosely. 

"no need for apologies, princess," raven replied, setting the remains of the eaten apricot back onto the platter.

you nodded, looking out in the garden, watching servants cut and water plants. beyond the fields were the woods. looking at them gave you a nostalgic feeling from your ride there, so you turned to look at raven once more.

raven was pretty. very pretty. she had warm brown eyes and long brown hair, done up in a ponytail from a piece of leather. warm, tan skin, like yours. you figured she must've been in the sun a lot.

"what is it?" she asked, staring at you with curiosity.

"nothing," you sighed, before looking at the servants in the room before you.

"they don't like me very much," you started, "i don't think i expected them to. i wouldn't like me very much if i was in their place, a spoiled princess coming to live in another castle, not as as slave, but a handmaiden. to the princess, at that."

raven smiled at you.

"you do not seem spoiled. and do not worry, they will warm up to you. you're very likable."

you gave a small smile back, looking at her again,

"what do you usually do here, anyway?"

raven shrugged, "many things. i heat water, prepare meals, serve. sometimes i work in the fields, or royal members request me specifically to do things for them."

"sounds fun," you muttered. your life had never been fun, per say, but it was not full of endless, hard work. you began to dread what your life had become.

"it's not that bad you know," raven reassured, reading your expression, "yes, it is work, and yes it is horseshit, but you get used to it. and besides, you have me."

you laughed, nodding.

"you are right."

raven grinned at you, and then turned her head to look out at the garden.

"what's it like being her handmaiden?" she asked.

you must've been caught in your thoughts, because you furrowed your eyebrows.

"who's?"

"alexandria's?" raven questioned.

you groaned at the name. raven let out a small laugh.

"i figured as much, the princess is, well-"

"cunning, evil, greedy, selfish-"

"i was just going to say a cunt, but yes, those too."

you let out a breath you did not know you were holding. raven grinned at you, smile as bright as the sun.

"she's cruel, and is making me train with her today."

"train?" raven asked.

"yes, train- why are you smiling like that?"

raven clicked her tongue, "alexandria is a very advanced fighter. with her hands and swords. if she wants you to train with her, it's probably to kill you."

you looked at raven curiously. 

"if she is that advanced, then are the stories true? about her immortality?"

"i am not one to say if they are true or not. but i believe so, many have claimed to see her at the beach or in the woods with her mother athena. they say she was purified by fire and the river styx."

you thought about that. baby alexandria, wailing as she is dipped in the river styx, held by only her ankle. you thought about her mother, athena, watching her child almost drown, and pulling her up the second she is almost dead. baby alexandria, screaming in the everlasting fire while being coated in ambrosia. 

just then, the princess herself walks out onto the balcony. you look at her from head to toe, admiring the soft tan skin, and the muscle in her calves. her strong thighs and the muscles on her arms. 

"hello, handmaiden, raven," she nodded at raven.

raven cleared her throat, jumping off the edge of the balcony onto the stone floors of the castle. she bows in front of her princess. you simply look at her in disinterest. 

"hello, my majesty. you look fair today."

lexa smiled, ignoring her comment and turning towards you.

"y/n," she says. it was stern, but she said your name beautifully. many people rushed with your name, jumbling the letters together to get the word rid from their mouth. it was as if your name caused a terrible taste on their tongue. 

but not her. she said it fully, sounding out each syllable with ease. 

you raised your head.

"you are to come train with me, as i told you earlier. is your mind that clouded? what is taking you so long to eat?"

you glanced at raven for a second, before looking back at lexa.

she followed your gaze though, and looked at raven.

"and where should you be?" lexa accused. 

raven looked up at her, and mumbled a quick apology.

"sorry your highness, i have been introducing y/n to the other slaves. i will carry on with my work," raven forced a smile and grabbed the platter from the balcony's ledge.

she gave you a wink as she left, leaving you and lexa to look at each other. her face was blank, looking at you with piercing eyes. she was angry.

you roll your eyes, jumping onto the floor.

"what gave you the right to excuse her so rudely?"

"my title, dimwit."

you scowled at her.

"just because you have a title does not mean you should use it so rudely."

lexa looked you up and down, making you cross your arms across your chest. 

she smirked, before sighing and walking back into the palace.

"let's go." 

-

you and lexa were in the inner court. you stood awkwardly as she stared at you.

"what is it?" you asked, clearly annoyed.

lexa shrugged, before bouncing on her heels as if she was testing the air, and then getting into a fighting position.

"well, come on. hit me," she said. you looked at her with disbelief. 

"what?" you asked.

she rolled her eyes, still in position.

"go, hit me! as hard as you fucking can."

"have you gone mad?" you asked.

lexa frowned.

"no, i have not gone mad. if you are not going to help me train, then i will send you back to the palace and have you clean buckets."

you looked at her with disgust.

"so, just so we are both clear, i just hit you? anywhere?"

lexa nodded.

"rules?"

lexa groaned, "none! don't think, just hit."

you sighed, getting into a fighting position as well. you had wanted to do this, since you were a child. to hit her, punch her, pull her hair. but now you had the chance and you were confused on what to do with it.

finding her eyes, you looked at the wonderful green orbs, before you circle each other. much like two hawks, circling a field for prey.

you lunged first, and once you were in range, you clumsily threw your fist into her face, but she blocked it with her arms.

stupid move, you thought.

she was next, throwing a punch at your abdomen. her fist glided through the air with grace, so quick you didn't see it coming. you lurched forward, not expecting her punch to be that hard. you backed up, giving yourself a moment to regain composure. 

you looked for her eyes again, and when you found them, you saw they were full of excitement. desire. she loved this, she was made for this.

you nodded, taking a deep breath and deciding where to aim next. you decided for her side, and you moved quickly and struck. she did not expect it to be there, and she groaned out a bit when your fist met her side. you struck again, aiming for her face- if you could only damage her pretty, innocent face, maybe you could forget the thoughts of her- but her hand caught your fist, and threw you back into the dirt.

you looked at her in confusion, and from the ground she looked like a goddess. like athena. or how you imagined her, anyway. green eyes aflame, hair pulled back into braids, and her figure stood tall.

"are you going to sit there forever? get up!" she yelled, making you sigh and stand up. you brushed the dirt off of yourself, and saw she was already in position.

you gathered yourself and stood, and the two of you began to circle again. 

she was next to throw a punch, swiftly, delicately at your abdomen again- in the same spot. you hurled over, groaning. she hit again, a little farther up, her knuckles hitting your ribs, just below your breast. she grabbed your shoulders, and threw her knee against your stomach, and then pushed you off. you were sure you were going to throw up, fuck, lexa knew how to hit, and she hit hard. no mercy. you looked up at her and only felt rage. you threw yourself on her, knocking her over, and hit until you were sure her cheeks were bruised purple, and her nose was bleeding. you hit until your hands felt numb, and then she flipped you over. she was now on top of you, legs on either side, and straddling your waist. although, she did not hit. she just stared at you, nose bleeding slightly- black blood and her cheeks were red.

and you stared back, admiring her- because even though she was bleeding black blood and her face was stained with red blotches she still looked beautiful, just like that. she would always be a goddess, you thought. nothing would ever change that.

and then the weirdest thing happened- she laughed. a genuine laugh, and it fell weird on your ears. you don't think you have ever seen the princess actually smile, let alone laugh. you stared up at her, slightly dazed and confused.

"i could crush your skull open right now, and watch your brain drain itself of blood. i could probably tear you in half if i tried," and she laughed again.

you didn't understand what was so funny- if she could do it then why hadn't she? there was nothing stopping her. no one would complain if you were dead. 

then, you realized. she had let you win, she could've stopped any of those punches. but she didn't. you started to think lexa was a masochist, and enjoyed pain as much as she liked inflicting it.

"so, why don't you?"

lexa looked at you and shrugged, wiping her nose.

"not the day for it. can't kill my handmaiden on the first day." 

you wanted to hit her again.

you realized she was still sitting on your pelvis, and your face flushed red. she noticed, of course, and that deadly smirk found its way to her lips once more.

 

"do you enjoy this, handmaiden? being under me?" she asked seductively, leaning closer to you.

you rolled your eyes and pushed her off of you, blushing more at her comment.

and there you both laid, in the dirt.

"you could've stopped me," you said slowly. you turned your body to face her.

"could've," lexa answered.

"why didn't you?"

lexa turned her head to look at you.

"no one has been able to hit me before, it felt interesting, being the other person."

she was definitely a masochist. 

you looked at her strangely, noticing the black blood that was stained under her nose.

"you bleed black."

lexa rolled her eyes, "nice to see you have eyes." 

"so the stories are true, you are a goddess?" 

lexa smirked and stood, shaking the dirt off of her. 

she looked down at you with a blank expression on her face.

"well, it is time for me to do my actual training. get up and go clean my room."

she dismissed herself with the wave of her hand, and you heard her footsteps as she walked away.

you stared at the sky for a second, admiring the blue. white, puffy clouds filled the sky, and you watched as they moved. 

what did she mean by actual training?

-

 

you grumbled profanities as you trudged up the hundreds of stairs leading to you and lexa's chambers. you sighed in exhaustion when you made it at the top. you were pleasantly surprised when you saw raven coming out of your room, bucket in hand.

"y/n, i'm shocked to see you're still alive."

you glared at her, much to her amusement as she started laughing.

"care to help me?" you asked, motioning towards the bucket and rags in your hands and gesturing toward lexa's bedroom.

she nodded, opening the door to lexa's room. it still smelled of flowers, but the smell was fading away. you sighed in disappointment.

"so, how did training go?" raven asked, setting her bucket down by the door.

you set yours down as well, dropping the rags next to it. you hissed when your fingers uncurled from the bucket, they ached from hitting lexa's perfectly fucking chiseled face. you examined them to see very light bruising. maybe you didn't hit as hard as you thought you did. looking over, you saw raven's bucket was full of melted wax, and you rolled your eyes. yours was full of soapy water.

you didn't answer, instead, pulled your chiton down, making raven cover her eyes.

"y/n, y/n! what in olympia's name are you doing?!" raven yelled.

you hushed her, and covered your breasts.

"calm down, raven. look."

she peeked through the holes of her fingers, and gasped, laughing slightly as she looked at the multicolored bruises that covered your ribs.

"i see it went well, for alexandria at least," she giggled, making you roll your eyes and cover yourself up. 

"haha," you mocked, harshly grabbing one of the rags and dipping it into the bucket. as the soapy water dripped onto lexa's marble floors, you realized you had no clue what to do with it.

raven looked at you disapprovingly before sighing and taking the rag from you. 

"just go take the sheets from the bed. change them" 

you looked over at lexa's enormous bed, and nodded. 

 

you and raven continued cleaning lexa's room, refilling oils and her paints. lexa must've worn makeup before you came, but dipping the brush into the jar you saw it was black. you gasped and dropped the brush suddenly.

"what?" raven asked, looking up from the spot on the floor she was scrubbing.

"lexa's makeup- it's it's-"

raven looked at you with a smirk on her face.

"what?" you asked exasperated.

"lexa?"

your cheeks flushed furiously.

"alexandria- of course, sorry, simple mistake. anyways, her makeup is black."

raven stifled a laugh before nodding, "yeah, it's her warpaint."

she went back to scrubbing the floor and did not mention your slip-up of the princess' nickname. 

"warpaint?" you questioned, "she has not been to war."

raven shook her head, "no. she wears it hunting, or sometimes training. it's very rare."

"she hunts?" you asked, clearly confused. what planet was lexa from? she hunted, she fought, she killed, or was made to, at least, and yet despite this she still was beautiful?

"you ask a lot of questions about the princess, is there something you are not telling me, y/n?" raven teased.

you narrowed your eyes, flush reappearing on your cheeks. 

"what are you implying?"

"oh, i don't know, maybe you admire her."

"i do not!" you fussed, turning your back to raven, "she is the worst person in the world. she has no regards for others feelings, or their thoughts. she's selfish. a narcissist."

"right," raven replied, "did anything interesting happen? besides from you getting your ass kicked."

"raven!" you whined.

"sorry!" she laughed.

you thought for a second, remembering the morning's events. 

"she bleeds black."

"black?" raven looked up at you.

you nodded.

"yes, her blood is black, not red. pitch black. like the night sky, without stars."

raven furrowed her eyebrows, before excitedly replying, "so it is true then? she is a goddess?"

you shrugged, "she would not tell me. she simply told me to 'clean her room.'"

raven snorted, standing.

"well, it is clean," she said, admiring the shiny floors.

you nodded, thoughts clouded by none other than lexa.

"well, i must go. i have other duties to attend to," raven announced, rolling her eyes.

"you're leaving me?" you asked.

raven shrugged, "i'm sure you could cozy up to princess lexa," she mocked.

you picked up a rag and threw it at her as she walked out, her laughter could be heard from the hallway. 

you huffed.

-

it was sunset now. the sky was endless- full of furious oranges, lusting pinks, and ecstatic purples. you were in the garden, you were sitting at the bottom of a fig tree, bored and tossing a fig between hands. 

raven had a lot of work to do, since she took time to help you clean lexa's room. you should've thanked her more. maybe you'd steal some of lexa's lovely smelling oils and give them to raven- maybe keep one or two to yourself.

you looked out at the sky, as chaotic as it was, it was so damn pretty. the warm wind blew slightly through your hair. you started to miss the days when you'd sit on the warm, white sand beaches and admire the cobalt blue waters, along with the sunset that would welcome you. you would take handfuls of sand just to watch it disintegrate between your fingers. you missed that, feeling at peace. things were never okay in your life- your mother was a weak and pathetic woman, all who sobbed as her husband hit her only child. beating her until her skin was no longer golden and shiny, but now dotted with red blotches and purples marks. but when you were alone, watching the sunset, or the sea, you felt okay. you knew life was worth it. 

"i see you've found my hiding place."

a voice snapped you out of your day dreaming. lexa. 

"your hiding place?" you scoffed.

lexa glared at you.

"yes."

"you own the whole damn palace and you can't even let me have a tree?" you countered.

lexa looked at you like you offended her. 

"this was my tree. i am not lying. i come here to think."

you look at her wearily, you really did not feel like dealing with lexa right now. you were too busy wallowing in self pity, in self hatred, in, simply anger. you felt betrayed. mad. confused. you were only a girl, exiled from her abusive kingdom. maybe it should've been a blessing, but it did not feel like it. you didn't deserve this. although, there was no rule that gods must be fair. it wasn't about deserve.

lexa stood, looking at you. you looked distant, she thought. like your body was sitting in front of her, but your mind was miles away. 

"what are you thinking of?" she asked. 

your eyes snapped over to her. why was she still here?

 

"nothing," you mumbled, throwing the fig that sat softly in your hands into the dirt. 

"you know," lexa said, looking down at you.

"you may speak, i will not tell. it's dishonorable."

you narrowed your eyes, letting out a harsh laugh. 

"since when do you care about honor?"

lexa sighed.

"honor is all i care about, y/n."

and there she was, saying your name again. in all its syllables. you were sure she knew the effect it had on you.

"well it doesn't seem like it. you are cruel." 

lexa rolled her eyes, but sat across from you. you watched her.

"you may think i'm cruel, but its what i do to survive."

you laughed weakly, she felt belittled. like you were mocking her, and you were.

"survive? what do you possibly have to be scared of? you are a princess, of the king of athens. you are a goddess, a warrior, a commander. you are loved. you eat well everyday, you sleep on a huge bed made from the nicest wood and softest sheets. you do not need to survive."

lexa looked at the sky, and then back at you.

"and what are you? you act as though you have had it so hard, but you haven't. you are a princess too, if you weren't aware." 

you glared at her. she didn't know you. she would never know you. you didn't answer.

"i am surviving everyday, not living. you cannot love or care or desire when you're me. you have to accept loss, you cannot grieve, there is no time for it. i will destroy everything in my path, people i care about included. therefore, it is a simple solution. no feelings. no love. no nothing."

you watched lexa's face. it was blank. you wonder if her mother had convinced her to live like this. 

"and what is the point of life without love?"

lexa smiled.

"fame. glory. i cannot love, but i can be loved. i want to live forever, i think. but not me, i want my memory to live forever." 

you scoffed, "that's selfish. having others love you and giving them nothing in return."

lexa shrugged. she was quiet. 

"maybe life should be about more than just surviving," you said, glancing at her for a reaction. 

she slumped her shoulders.

"you wouldn't get it."

you felt offended.

"i understand perfectly fine, but maybe you should stop caring so much about this pigshit fame and glory and feel."

 

lexa snapped her head up to look at you.

"pigshit fame and glory?"

"yes."

"you know nothing, y/n. nothing at all. tell me, how happy has your life made you by feeling?"

you glared at her.

"it's got me somewhere."

"not far," she scoffed, "if you're here. as a slave."

you wanted to scream, and hit her, you wanted her blood on your hands. you hated her. you hated her so much.

"you know what lexa? you just a greedy, spoiled, selfish brat. you don't care about people or anything because you don't want to. not because you're afraid. you are pathetic, saying that loving will kill you, but letting others die for you without even a second glance. you're sick."

lexa looked you straight in the eyes. if there had been any emotion on her face, in her eyes before, there certainly wasn't now. 

"we are what we are."

you looked at her, repulsed, and stood up. you walked away, furious and mortified. you hated lexa. you hated her. you would hate her until you died.

you did not look back.


End file.
